Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
