the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
