No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
