Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
This girl is more easily done than said...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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