just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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