Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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