my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
