Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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