is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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