she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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