He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
