worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
