How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
