lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
