I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
