Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
NoShamevember. You game?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My bed smells like the plague
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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