We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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