Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
