yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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