I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
