just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
