STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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