More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
