bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
