i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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