If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
