i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
