Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
