Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
