I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
