Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
