I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
A bitchslap is in order.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
