and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
