so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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