You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
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