You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
