awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
