oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
