she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
