It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
