Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
