after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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