I just found puke in my bra..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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