I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
