Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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