i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
