Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
