Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
