you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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