Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
