You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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